turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Drake has all the answers
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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