Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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