You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
