you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
