Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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