Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
