let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
