I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
