You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
