He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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