you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
