Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
