I'm pants shitting drunk right now
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There r osticjed everywhere
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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