No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
