it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
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i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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