So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
