Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize