Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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