based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
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I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
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It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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