matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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