PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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