you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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