My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
