someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
