I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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