Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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