How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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