so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
