PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
