We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
