Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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