is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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