Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
