Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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