I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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