Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
