There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
