I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
