T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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