The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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