and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize