I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You need a sexual gate keeper
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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