Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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