I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
