these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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