That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
