Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
