Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
