what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
