He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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