woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize