i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
