he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
