GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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