just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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