I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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