i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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