We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
