It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
