fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
