dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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