a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize