Buhtt sex?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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