I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
