whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
