As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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