Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
not ubering you a puppy
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
